After all this time...

I haven't even been to this site for a year and a half....only one person still came (thank you Sunny.) I am six months cancer free, but do not feel well yet. The medicine I am taking is stealing whatever was left of who I used to be. Shaky, tired, weak, numb....I go through the routine of my day hoping my chidren don't resent me. That they won't grow up and JUST remember how sick mom always was, how she never seemed well enough to play. How will they know that was never how I planned it? That I used to be funny? That the cancer only killed me on the inside but left my body here...responsible for three young lives when I can't manage my own. I hope it will get better...I can only pray that it will...