The Joy of Oncology....

Today is the day for my 3 month check-up for my Oncologist. I have been cancer free for 1 year, 9 months and 3 days! I still hate these days. My stomach gets in knots (at least I don't puke the second I walk in the door, like I have been known to do in the past.) My heart rate goes up, blood pressure rockets and thanks to my lovely hormone suppressants...I hot flash like firecracker. Such a sight...same scene EVERY time. Mortifying and sweaty all at the same time. I don't so much fear a relapse or recurrence, but do stress over can they find a vein in my one good arm. Seeing my doctor is a roller coaster too....Since he was such an important part of my life during treatment, cared and was so involved in EVERY decision, every step, every drug, etc. After remission...his care understandably falls away, but leaves me feeling like a jilted lover. No...I do NOT have romantic feelings for my doctor, not really. Just this attachment and bonding that I don't have with anyone else, so when I see him (every three months) it's like running into an old friend/ex-boyfriend and having to answer a bunch of personal questions while he feels up my boobs. Still embarrassing...even after ALL THE MANY folks who have felt my breasts....still seems CRAZY! So off I go....the joys of Oncology that will always be the gift that keeps on giving! Pray for me.